the toss-up

a dear friend of mine shared the secret of success behind her 15 years of marriage.

about a year after their wedding, she and her husband were at her parents for dinner.

she expressed her desire for a new purse and her husband responded with incredulous exclamations about how she’d just bought her

current purse a few months ago!

how many does a person need?!

what a waste of money! etc etc etc…

at this moment, his sassy mexican mother-in-law

came storming in from the kitchen and exclaimed,

“son, i'm gonna teach you something about women!

women are FICKLE!

they need change!

so about every three months

it’s either

a new PURSE

or a new MAN – take your pick!”

he now counts himself lucky to be safe for another three months each time he sees his wife come home with a new purse. :)

best job perk ever:

chocolate-covered almonds are one of those little miracles that lets you know god loves you.

(well, god, and whoever was nice enough to give them to you.)

the end.

all i want for christmas...

is a pet rock named lester.

he must be heavy and portable.

i will tuck him away and carry him everywhere and tell him everything

and he will still be a rock.

he won't die of being over-watered or under-sunned like my desk plant.

he won't dart out into the street and refuse to come back to the house like a certain puppy i know.

he won't bite, he won't change, he won't need to go out

he won't wilt, he won't whine, he won't eat my shoes

he won't break, he won't collapse, and he'll never be unhappy to see me!

i will carry him everywhere

and he will still be a rock.

...its 2 am. goodnight.

they live among us...

our office is currently playing host to a
bionic alien.

yes. it’s true.

and what’s worse –
i think i’m the only one who knows.

this mammoth of a machine
simply appeared in our mail room one day
after our other printers all
“conveniently”
started having jamming problems.

everyone thinks he’s here to save us from dreadful print jobs!...

i, however, am not so sure.

surveillance plans are already in place
to monitor this unassuming electronic infiltration.


be he autobot or decepticon
i vow to discover soon…

needing to sleep

it's been a while since i blogged -

don't worry, i haven't stopped being opinionated

or having musings about

life, love and other mysteries -

i've just been unable to find the time to put my

funny thoughts up for the world to see :}

...

tonight, tho,

im kinda pensive.

i can hear fire trucks outside my house

and i wonder whose home is on fire

or if someone is in danger.

i wonder if they'll be ok.

i heard the news that a girl was beaten and raped near our home.

a girl in our stake.

and i wonder how she'll survive.

how her family will survive.

i listened to a woman i know

prepare herself for another battle against cancer

after being a survivor of several years.

then she found out

that her husband is also fatally ill.

and i wonder if she's tempted to get angry or give up.

i see and hear lots of sad things

because the world is full of unhappy, wounded and flawed people,

and honestly, sometimes i don't know where to put it.

this life

this earth

this chance

is a divine and priceless gift -

greater than anything else we could have had in the eternities -

we fought for it!

we wanted it!

because somehow, we trusted,

even before we'd come here,

that everything we'd face;

all darkness

injustice

unkindness

perversion

wickedness

lonliness

scarring

and

pain

would all somehow be swallowed up

and healed

through the Savior.

we didn't just trust, we KNEW.

my heart aches for the people around me who have been hurt.

my heart aches when i hear about how dark the world is becoming.

my heart aches when i think of little children having to brave this dangerous place.

but somehow, the world still isn't evil.

the world, this earth and the people on it,

are still all creations of God

and He is still the supreme ruler over them.

so this world, despite all of its flaws,

is still glorious beyond description!

and so, somehow, we can still be joyful

despite how scary life can seem.

:)

there is nothing

NOTHING

the Savior cannot make right

through the Atonement.

and there is so much RIGHT that can already be had in this life!

and the Atonement

magnifies it to be so much more right

and good

and bright

than it was before!

“[His influence] quickens all the intellectual faculties, increases, enlarges, expands and purifies all the natural passions and affections; and adapts them, by the gift of wisdom, to their lawful use. It inspires, develops, cultivates and matures all the fine-toned sympathies, joys, tastes, kindred feelings and affections of our nature."

-Parley P Pratt

i love that quote.

our great and loving Father

through our Savior

aided by the Holy Ghost

make all wrongs right

all rights divine

and give ALL experiences meaning.

...im not sure if i make much sense :}

its late.

God is love

goodnight.

the dude

today i recognized a guy from my work

(as he rode his motorcycle down university ave)

soley

by his chops.

yes, his chops.

from behind, no less!!

yes, i am that awesome,

and yes, so are his chops.

will the real issue here please stand up?

"nothing is going right!"
"everyone is mad at me"
"people won't like it"

generalizations and absolutes are tricky beasts.
they create these walls of abmiguous 'realities' we can hide behind.

hide?...ME?!

well, yeah - i mean,
how can you protect yourself if you don't know what the danger is?
how can you fix a leak if you don't know where the crack is?
how can you change your situation if you don't know
where your part begins?
how can you deal with anything effectively if you
refuse to define it?

you can't.
so you are, in effect, hiding.

in my family, the popular way to hide is behind the "people."

"well, some people might not want to do that…"
"there are people who aren't eating sugar these days, so we shouldn’t eat there…"
"people are upset about that…"

O those people!!

to quote one of the wisest people I know (aka kim),

"saying 'people' sounds massive and completely unmanageable!
it's like…like a thick fog that you can't look at or deal with
because you can't even see what it is!..."

(hey…yeah! just who ARE these people, anyway!?)

"...but if you were to just blow aside the smoke for a second,
you'd realize it’s just so-n-so standing there amid the fog.
really? just one person? maybe two?!
i can handle that!"

therein lies the problem with generalizing and absolute-ing everything:
it MASKS the reality of the problem so we can feel justified in not addressing it.

it's too obscure,
too massive,
too cOmPliCatEd,
too h u g e ,
too whatever, etc, etc, etc…

it takes courage to wave aside the smoke to see what's really there - it does!
i think we try to mask it because we fear that
whatever IS in there
we maybe couldn't handle.

but we CAN handle it!

"nothing is going right!"
nothing? not a single thing in any way?...or just maybe that one thing you really had your heart set on? and possibly a few burned dinners or assignments missed on top of it? look at those two or three little realities for a second - can you handle that? YES, you CAN!

"everyone is mad at me!"
everyone - every single person in the whole world (including me, which i highly doubt)? …or is it someone important to you so it feels like the whole world? let's pretend they really ARE mad at you and will never recover - that's one person among billions. one person with their own baggage. one person whose opinion doesn't change the opinion of an Almight God who ISN'T mad at you. one person - can you handle that? YES!! YES YOU CAN!

"people might not like it..."
people? like who? a crazed mob?! ...or maybe just one member of your family, or one person in your class, or one critic that could easily be spoken to like an adult about the situation? and if they can't be reasoned with like an adult…does their opinion really matter?
if we're all being mature here, we should all be free to and be supportive of everyone chosing to like what they like, go where they want to go and be who they want to be. if somone can't be mature about it, there is nothing we can do to change them. so we might as well do what we really feel is best despite their negative views/opinions. if they love you - THEY WILL GET OVER IT.

could we handle that - handle possibly upsetting someone by doing what we think is best for us instead of what they want?

YES - I say, we could handle that!

let's stop and blow away the smoke a little more often.
lets see our fears and intimidations for what they really are:
smaller, more manageable problems that we CAN handle
if we face them.

we CAN!

time to pull out my leaf-blower!...