buried past

Time is fading
fast
And you are nearly my
buried past
‘Cause suddenly, the sun can see
My eyes once more
And all it took, was giving up
What I adored
Its true, It was you
I adored

Your heart is what I thought
I’d always know
I lay you down to sleep where
I can let you go
Your smile will stay a memory
To light my day
I’ll keep that close to my own heart
And find a way
Hope comes with the dawn
I give away

But time was never our companion
Even you had to abandon
The dreams I thought we’d shared
I thought we’d share...

The ghost of all I hoped to be
Sits by my side
Whispers thoughts of moving on
And finding life
The song will change from dark to day
And heal the soul
And what was left broken here
Will one day
I know that one day
Will be whole

this piece was a sad one - i first began writing it with my grandmother in mind. ...wondering how she was able to move on and keep going after my grandfather - her heart and her life - passed away. the song took a more personal turn when i met a wonderful girl who was my age and trying to recover from losing her fiance - her heart and her life - in a car accident.
the gospel changes everything about death - gives it meaning - and pain is still part of the reality. :} but it doesn't have to consume us.
...that's why i wrote this song.

this morning

this morning i thought i saw the sun rise in the west

my vision is blurred and i know i need my rest,

but i just want to stay here

and think a while...

cause every time you smile,

you make me weak -

you make me weak.


how can your broken love make me feel so whole

and leave me bleedin here inside, so still and cold?

well, i can't figure out if i should

run or stay...

cause i just can't take the way

you make me feel -

you make me feel.


and i know that you are far from me

and far from what i knew.

and i know that there was never much

that i could say or do,

and i know that there was never hope except

when i believed in me...and you...


this morning i thought i saw my future in your eyes...

but you just smiled...

...and walked away.



this song was my first attempt at composing -and, you know, it was a really cool experience! :) there's nothing like putting your thoughts and wonderings to music!

i don't remember all the details, but i do recall it involved being really sleep-deprived and trying to figure out the whole 'unrequited love' thing - how is it that we can care so much about someone who doesn't care for us back? what do you do when you want to keep caring but you know its really time to let it go? ...i suppose this is mostly a dilema for those of us who are blue at heart - according to Dr. Taylor Hartman - frusteratingly loyal to the death (even to those who often don't even notice or deserve it). ;)

this song was originally written before my mission without lyrics over the bridge, and remained unfinished until 4-5 months ago when Michelle convinced me to try. finishing this piece was the real begining of my song-writing fiesta, and it wouldnt have happened without her encouragement. :) i love this song - it is one of my favorites.