the BIOPHOTONIC tissue SCANNER!! Ooooo!!!....Aaaaahhhh!!...
that's right folks, just place your hand over the laser, wait 90 seconds, and POOF! instantaneous results that confirm you stink at taking care of your body!
so, essentially what we all received was HARD-CORE PROOF that all of us there were, in fact,
COLLEGE STUDENTS!!
(who else habitually lives off so little sleep, survives under sick ammounts of stress, and eats nothing but raman?!?)
need evidence?! it's RIGHT HERE!
someone healthy scores about about +40,000 (green or blue),
i scored a 25,000 (....orange).
(which the nice, single, awkwardly smiling at me tech guy assured me wasn't nearly as bad as most college students - in fact, he hinted, it was the most attractive number he'd scanned all day!...)
and last but not least, if you are dissatisfied with your anxioxident-thingy-health score, you can purchase vitamins for $100 a month to make up for your unhealthy living habits! :D YES!
may all our futures be bright with low scan-numbers, handfuls of daily tablets, and a happy refusal to eat better on our own! :D
1 comment:
When will they have the breath analyzer?
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