Thursday, April 28
"man, i wish there were some way to
open up schedule so i could go
to the gym regularly again -
i really miss running!..."
to which God responded by
giving my boyfriend a
full-time, night-time summer job
that would neatly cut out
any possible chances of me
ever seeing him
...He thinks He's sooooooooo funny....!
Tuesday, April 26
so, to my very limited number of friends who used to read my blog
before i got out of the habit of writing
who might possibly read this and get a kick out of it:
i will give you a candy bar/carton of ice cream of your choice
if you can guess what song (& artist) this
i-may-not-make-it-through-sunday-school sketch came from!*
it's that simple.
good luck ;)
*apologies go out to my boyfriend, chris**, who cannot guess because he was the inspiration for and recipient of the sketch for texting me the line that brought about this amazing piece of artwork. sorry, cavalheiro - you know too much.
**...of course, he'd have to know that i even HAD a blog in order to try and guess...but seeing as i haven't written in forever, he's never been exposed to my brilliant work ;)
Some people trick their email into sending zipped files they wouldn’t normally be able to send by changing the .zip to .zi or, in my case, .zi_ . If you try to open a .zi_ file, you will get an ugly error that will convince you your computer hates you and has no self-esteem.
But if you ask the all-knowing-buddah named
*insert heavenly celestial choir chord here*
You will discover that your computer is just unhappy and confused because the same dirty trick that fooled your email into sending a document wouldn’t normally want to is now confusing your desktop into thinking it’s too inadequate to open such a complicated piece of documentation.
For SHAME, trisky smart people who know how to manipulate poor little electronics!
But all can be made right again by saving the file somewhere and editing the name to have it once again called by its proper name, .zip , which your sweet computer DOES recognize and CAN, with all confidence, open, edit, print and file away for you!
Now you will get your work done and your computer will buzz with a glowing self-assurance that it never knew before!
Monday, December 6
the real definitions of
'success' and 'failure' anyway
and move on! :)
my life was described last night
as a series of
'perfectly orchestrated disasters'
and, as funny as it was,
it was also a seriously humbling realization.
so often when everything has gone wrong
at the exact WORST time possible,
and i thought the world was sure to end,
the greatest changes of my life occurred as a result.
and when i say 'great'
i don't mean
the ones i loved the best -
heck no! -
i mean the ones that left
the biggest impact for the better
on my life, my character and my testimony.
and i'll be honest,
there are some that i'm not fully at peace with yet
- i wonder why my plans and life direction had to change the way they did -
but it is humbling
to realize that i could never have seen that they would turn out to be exactly
what i would need to become my best ME.
because it reminds me that
1) i am NOT the one in control here
2) there is someone up there who must love me very much who IS!
it reminds me of an important paragraph
from the 12-step Alcoholics Anonymous Book:
it comes from the testimony of a doctor who realized the key to his recovery was
acceptance of his life and all its imperfections
exactly how it is right now
(so he could live in the answer and not in the problem),
and that his alcoholism had blessed him by forcing him to get on his knees and come to know God in a way nothing else could have.
"for years i was sure that the worst thing that could happen to a nice guy like me would be that i would turn out to be an alcoholic. today i find its the best thing that has ever happened to me. this proves i don't know what's good for me. and if i don't know what's good for me, then i don't know what's good or bad for anyone. so i'm better off if i don't give advice, don't figure i know best, and just accept life on life's terms, as it is today - especially my own life, as it actually is."
in other words,
for years i was sure that the worst thing that could happen to ME,
emily ann peterson,
would be to have this-or-that not go the way i planned,
or that those-scary-painful-trails would crop up,
or that thus-n-such-thing-i-loved might someday change -
but today i find that all of those
perfectly orchestrated disasters
are the best things that have ever happened to me.
this proves i DON'T know whats best for me
and that there's someone else -
someone all-powerful and wonderful -
who DOES. :}
so i'm better off if i don't try to counsel God
or tell Him i know best,
and just accept my life and all its hand-tailored progression tools
on His terms -
my life, my own life, as it actually is.
my life - the beautiful disaster :)
the beautiful, wonderful, exciting, amazing, hilarious and perfectly orchestrated disaster!
...speaking of beautiful/amazing/orchestrated disasters - this clip gives me happy goosebumps every time i watch it!! :)
Saturday, December 4
and i'm sure it won't be the last,
however i had it several times over the last week
so i need to vent a little right now.
what is so wrong or naive about
believing that people are,
a friend and i were discussing some of the harder things we've heard in the news lately and i said something to the effect of,
"yeah, its so sad - cause you know, people are generally just good people trying to do their best..."
and he laughed right in my face.
then he looked at me incredulously and asked,
"you're not serious, are you?"
actually, i WAS. and i still am.
he asked me how i could possibly believe that people are, on the whole, basically GOOD people? how could i believe that, with all the terrible things going on and all the prophesies that they will get worse?
...i'm sorry, how can i believe that?
how can i NOT?
i don't believe in being blind to the dangers and realities of the world we live in, but we are all spirit children of the same God and we all CHOSE to be here because there was a goodness and a trust in us that prevailed against alot of opposition!
i will openly agree that the natural man is "an enemy to God" and more naturally inclined to be scared and selfish, but that doesn't make us BAD - it makes us human. and guess what, our spirits, which chose goodness, are part of us too! so while we're naturally not perfectly good, we also can't be perfectly bad.
i don't remember where, but somewhere in my youth i heard this philosophy,
"there is no one on this earth whom you could not love if you knew their story."
and guess what -
i believe it.
even the WORST people that have or ever will live -
murderers, child molesters, kidnappers, drug dealers -
ALL of them were once children
with clean minds
and a living situation.
and, like all of us,
there are unhappy, hard and even traumatic things
that come with being born into a family
and situation that you have no control over.
if we went back far enough,
if we really KNEW their story -
i don't think we'd be so quick to assume
that people must be naturally bad
to be selfish, unkind, dark or abusive.
i 100% believe in the power of
and that every living soul has
the right and responsibility
to CHOOSE their own direction in life.
just because you were handed an abusive childhood
doesn't mean you HAVE to take the road of
becoming an abuser.
i personally know a lot of incredible people
who have suffered serious traumatic scars
and have chosen to live a life
oriented towards LIGHT and HAPPINESS
instead of using their pain to hurt others.
if we could go back
and watch the path
and hardened the hearts of
the scariest people you know,
i doubt we could pass judgment on their
inherent badness as casually as i believe we often do.
and the same goes for people who aren't the worst ones you know,
but just the average dude who
cuts you off in traffic,
or is a pain to work with,
or never does what he says he will.
i genuinely believe that all the people we interact with each day
are just trying to do the best
for what they know how do to.
if there was shouting in the home
and shouting back kept someone safe,
then shouting will be the tool of choice
when that person feels threatened,
even if the 'threat' is as simple as possibly purchasing the last doughnut of their favorite flavor!
i'm not saying it's right, i'm saying it's people living or surviving as best as they currently know how.
in aladdin, the hero of the story
is a theif
and we're ok with that.
because we are shown that
he has a good heart, good intentions
and that he is living the only way he knows how,
"gotta eat to live, gotta steal to eat, tell you all about it when i've got the time...!"
we COULD call up disney and tell them
that for all his 'good intentions',
aladdin obviously hadn't tried hard enough
to get an honest job
so he could AFFORD to pay for his food
instead of stealing it!
but...if he was an orphan on the street,
what kind of education would he have had?
what job would he have been qualified for
that would have allowed him to get out of poverty?
well, he should have gone to night school!
or a trade school!
or gotten a miro-loan from a non-profit organization!
or done SOMETHING so he wouldn't be a menace to society, RIGHT?!...
...it's a silly example, but can you see what i'm getting at?
we really are in no position to judge.
so why not give people the benefit of the doubt that their intentions are better than they seem?
i don't profess to always have a loving,
non-judgmental attitude towards others.
and i can't say that i have completely forgiven
or that i'll ever love
people who i know have hurt my loved ones.
and i most definitely am not one to say that you can just trust anyone you meet
and leave your safety or the safety of your children in their care - trust needs to be earned.
i still do, very sincerely,
believe that ALL of us,
as equally noble children of the same God,
all have the same potential to become
clean, powerful, happy
and that we are all
living out our lives,
with our own personal mix of
baggage, education, emotions, beliefs and needs
and that we're doing it
the best that we currently know how.
and i try my best to treat people as such.
i believe that people are generally good.
that doesn't qualify them for automatic trust
and it doesn't mean we're in the same place
in our progression or in our life choices.
what it does mean
is that there's hope.
with time, love, and a greater understanding
of their inherent awesomeness,
even the worst people can chose light
instead of darkness.
hope that we can turn whatever trials we face here
into something beautiful
that will make us,
and our world a better place.
and if our Father has that kind of hope for each of us,
then i think there's nothing wrong
with my trying to do the same.
*step off soap box*
Wednesday, December 1
we get it strongly from my mother.
our sense of humor, however,
we get from our dad. :)
MERRY CHRISTMAS!! :D
you're forgetting the meaning of christmas!"
was wonderful -
but i spent the weeks preceding christmas
running around trying to find a job,
buying presents online,
completing my finals,
listening to my every-day music
and fulfilling my calling.
my birthday suddenly arrived and i was shocked!
then i blinked, and it was christmas eve -
and we were about to do our
shepherd's dinner/nativity story,
and i wasn't ready.
i had all my presents purchased and wrapped,
but emotionally, i wasn't ready for christmas.
i hadn't thought about the Savior,
or my family
the entire month.
and after christmas was over,
i had wished i had actually CELEBRATED christmas.
so while i'm aware and reverence the fact
is about Christ
and not Santa or his elves,
all of that ooey-gooey wonderfully
christmasy cheer and music
helps remind me
that a special day is coming
and that i need to be ready.
so, with Pres Uchtdorf's counsel still in mind*,
i plan to kitsch up my christmas this year! :)
MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!
read it, love it, live it. :)