Friday, April 30
"everyone is mad at me"
"people won't like it"
generalizations and absolutes are tricky beasts.
they create these walls of abmiguous 'realities' we can hide behind.
well, yeah - i mean,
how can you protect yourself if you don't know what the danger is?
how can you fix a leak if you don't know where the crack is?
how can you change your situation if you don't know
where your part begins?
how can you deal with anything effectively if you
refuse to define it?
so you are, in effect, hiding.
in my family, the popular way to hide is behind the "people."
"well, some people might not want to do that…"
"there are people who aren't eating sugar these days, so we shouldn’t eat there…"
"people are upset about that…"
O those people!!
to quote one of the wisest people I know (aka kim),
"saying 'people' sounds massive and completely unmanageable!
it's like…like a thick fog that you can't look at or deal with
because you can't even see what it is!..."
(hey…yeah! just who ARE these people, anyway!?)
"...but if you were to just blow aside the smoke for a second,
you'd realize it’s just so-n-so standing there amid the fog.
really? just one person? maybe two?!
i can handle that!"
therein lies the problem with generalizing and absolute-ing everything:
it MASKS the reality of the problem so we can feel justified in not addressing it.
it's too obscure,
too h u g e ,
too whatever, etc, etc, etc…
it takes courage to wave aside the smoke to see what's really there - it does!
i think we try to mask it because we fear that
whatever IS in there
we maybe couldn't handle.
but we CAN handle it!
"nothing is going right!"
nothing? not a single thing in any way?...or just maybe that one thing you really had your heart set on? and possibly a few burned dinners or assignments missed on top of it? look at those two or three little realities for a second - can you handle that? YES, you CAN!
"everyone is mad at me!"
everyone - every single person in the whole world (including me, which i highly doubt)? …or is it someone important to you so it feels like the whole world? let's pretend they really ARE mad at you and will never recover - that's one person among billions. one person with their own baggage. one person whose opinion doesn't change the opinion of an Almight God who ISN'T mad at you. one person - can you handle that? YES!! YES YOU CAN!
"people might not like it..."
people? like who? a crazed mob?! ...or maybe just one member of your family, or one person in your class, or one critic that could easily be spoken to like an adult about the situation? and if they can't be reasoned with like an adult…does their opinion really matter?
if we're all being mature here, we should all be free to and be supportive of everyone chosing to like what they like, go where they want to go and be who they want to be. if somone can't be mature about it, there is nothing we can do to change them. so we might as well do what we really feel is best despite their negative views/opinions. if they love you - THEY WILL GET OVER IT.
could we handle that - handle possibly upsetting someone by doing what we think is best for us instead of what they want?
YES - I say, we could handle that!
let's stop and blow away the smoke a little more often.
lets see our fears and intimidations for what they really are:
smaller, more manageable problems that we CAN handle
if we face them.
time to pull out my leaf-blower!...
Tuesday, April 27
i'm going to the happiest place on earth this saturday! :D
it will awesome just like disney movie!!
[minus the dreamy spaghetti scenes... ;) lol ]
i simply cannot wait!
(oh, and did i mention MEXICO after that?!
no? well its true!!)
(ps. no posts for two weeks - what will i do with all my funny thoughts?! lol)
Monday, April 19
walking to work before 8am,
i discover that
during finals week
pajamas are the cry of freedom on campus
and I'm still a prisoner.
i can sense their overly comfy smugness
as I run to work
in business slacks,
a dress shirt,
my hair in an up-do and
- heaven forbid -
with makeup on!
...and what's more…
they know its killing me.
i envy the deep flannel cocoons they'll burrow into
when they take up roost in the testing center
to study all day.
their tattered and patterned bottoms,
furry slippers, and bed-heads are a
harsh, snide reminder that
i have responsibilities today
aside from test-taking
and they do not.
curse you all.
Monday, April 12
and the boy i'd been sitting next to all semester.
he's a super nerd,
but really nice.
and a good-looking guy.
"he's pretty cool. we should go out. we’d have fun."
but i listened to greg
“if a guy is really into you – no matter how shy –
i trust my own innate hotness enough to believe that’s true. :)
so, i didn’t ask him out
then came the last day of the semester.
the day when, traditionally,
if someone is going to solidify a friendship outside of school,
they do so.
they have to.
nerd-boy isn't on facebook,
we were never in the same presentation group,
however we DID sit next to each other,
twice a week,
making funny comments during class
i figured we could easily fix this
and transition past the classroom.
the bell rings!…
we stand up!...
he had hidden my backpack under his chair
and i had to steal it back.
we fought it out as our classmates packed up their things...
it was magical.
with the laughter of our banter fresh on his face,
he looked deep into my eyes
'well, i guess i'll never see any of you guys again! later!!!"
o greg! thank you for NOT allowing me to waste my precious time on someone who was never actually into me!
1) make certain the cinnamon tree lounge felt nothing like the cinnamon tree lounge.
2) get everyone out of their shells with crazy tricks and talents.
3) give out awesome prizes!
4) give everyone a reason to dress up like the foxy ladies and slick men that they are
5) serve up the best mocktails ever invented!!
* over 100 classy people served!
* TONS of hilarious raffle tickets awarded!
* 12 amazing prizes presented!
* 1 GRAND PRIZE WINNER of a date with kim&em!
* 4 hours of jazzy music and occasional dancing
* and the 7 smoothest, tangiest and flavorful-est mocktail recipes ever enjoyed!
Thursday, April 8
my grandfather sang this to my grandmother as he left for war:
he wrote her beautiful letters about the work,
he wrote her almost daily,
they were dreadfully, sweetly, wonderfully, and completely cheesily romantically in love!
Tuesday, April 6
Something about which one frequently complains; a particular personal vexation.
we all have them.
we all hate them.
we all love to hate them.
and some of us have some really funny/true ones!
take my mild-mannered friend, Aaron, who secretly loathes...
...people who use the tall fountain to fill their waterbottle with people waiting behind them. (there IS a a midgit one a foot away that none of us tall people can use which you might make use of...!)
...especially when those people stop and drink from their waterbottle then proceed to top it off with people STILL waiting behind them!
...bikers who expect to be treated like pedestrians by cars and like vehicles by pedestrians.
(WHAT THE?! - ! i have the right of way!...move it, you peons!)
...people who take up a whole isle at the store with their huge cart and refuse to walk faster or let you by.
(hey, it's all good - i was actually hoping i'd get caught here in canned beans section long enough to read where they were all individually picked, cleaned, shelled, and processed!!...)
...and most hated of all: pointless busywork.
or the love of my life, kim! who moonlights as a hater of...
(shudder - there's nothing else to say)
...people who allow cat hair in their homes.
...people who ENJOY cat hair in their homes.
...and most of all, men who call themseves "cat people."
(cat-ladies are acceptable because they've turned from society - but cat-men?! unmanly and unacceptable.)
even the lovely jerica has her own list of evils...
...people who, walking or driving, cut you off then proceed to SLOW DOWN!
...people who eat loud.
(i dont want to hear your food!)
...people who hover over samples at costco.
(you're not starving - you dont have to stand there waiting for it to cook!)
...people who diss on michael jackson or ANYTHING they don't really know anything about.
...lack of "fetiquette" (aka facebook etiquette).
(i do NOT need to hear your declarations of love and longing every day - i don't want to live your relationship with you!)
...especially newlyweds who take/post pics of their honeymoon suite or daily post for a week how much they hate sleeping alone when their spouse of out of town...
(REALLY?! really?!?! i DONT need to know!)
...people who walk around with leftover makeup on.
(folks - wash your face, PLEASE! is the economy that bad?!...)
my dear sweet matti can't handle...
...when people leave cupboards open.
(...seriously? just close it!)
my bro-in-law-brother jonathan writhes inside when...
...people look at his artwork which he spends hours, days, and YEARS perfecting and say "wow! you're so talented - i could never just DO that."
(i don't JUST DO IT - i dedicate my life to developing the skills! if you spent as much time as i did, you could too!)
as for myself, i want to die a little inside when...
...cars in different lanes all match pace so no one can pass them.
(there's a REASON we have the "fast" and "slow" lanes, guys)
...people don't use their blinkers.
...people complain about being bored or unpopular.
(you have the POWER to say 'i will GO OUT and DO something and i will have a GOOD TIME!' - i don't care how much homework you have, how awkward is it, or how much you wish life would just show up at your door to entertain you - living a fun full life is work!)
...people are constantly negative.
(so what do you like to do? nothing i do matters. where do you work? i hate my job, so it doesn't matter. whats your favorite color? colors are stupid. OK, we are done here!...)
...trying to use someone else's cel-phone
(trust me, it'll go WORLDS faster if i call/text them from MY phone - and i wont accidentally delete all your contacts in the process...)
well, there you go! some of the best things i've heard that
"grind your gears"
(as jerica's friend calls it)!
what are some of yours?
Monday, April 5
"because whitney is a bright and wonderful joy to have around! those who meet her are incapable of forgetting her! also, purple is her family color."
and finally, emily:
...i dont understand...i dont even like tulips!
so our heroine went home, completely dissolusioned.
fast forward about 3 years,
she trudged up the driveway,
when she saw it.
a big, healthy red-n-yellow tulip was sticking out of the snow!
...and out of nowhere, i knew He still cared.
tulips aren't scared to come out even though more snow might be on the way,
they bounce back first :)
and suddenly, our heroine was done being overwhelmed!
because somehow, she always bounced back
and always will!
(and funny how this works - but now tulips are one of her favorite flowers!)
Friday, April 2
Above earth's lamentation,
I catch the sweet, tho' far-off hymn
That hails a new creation.
Through all the tumult and the strife
I hear the music ringing;
It finds an echo in my soul--
How can I keep from singing? ...
While to that refuge clinging;
Since Christ is Lord of heaven and earth,
How can I keep from singing? ...
I see the blue above it;
And day by day this pathway smooths,
Since first I learned to love it.
The peace of Christ makes fresh my heart,
A fountain ever springing;
All things are mine since I am his--
tomorrow is general conference -
sing with the institute choir that will
Thursday, April 1
wherein i finished and printed off a 5 page paper
needless so say, i was particularly proud of myself!
...until 5pm rolled around and i discovered
that in the midst of my productivity
i had MAILED OFF MY PORTUGUESE HOMWORK