...just accept that you never knew
the real definitions of
'success' and 'failure' anyway
and move on! :)
my life was described last night
as a series of
'perfectly orchestrated disasters'
and, as funny as it was,
it was also a seriously humbling realization.
so often when everything has gone wrong
at the exact WORST time possible,
and i thought the world was sure to end,
the greatest changes of my life occurred as a result.
and when i say 'great'
i don't mean
the ones i loved the best -
heck no! -
i mean the ones that left
the biggest impact for the better
on my life, my character and my testimony.
and i'll be honest,
there are some that i'm not fully at peace with yet
- i wonder why my plans and life direction had to change the way they did -
but it is humbling
to realize that i could never have seen that they would turn out to be exactly
what i would need to become my best ME.
because it reminds me that
1) i am NOT the one in control here
2) there is someone up there who must love me very much who IS!
it reminds me of an important paragraph
from the 12-step Alcoholics Anonymous Book:
it comes from the testimony of a doctor who realized the key to his recovery was
acceptance of his life and all its imperfections
exactly how it is right now
(so he could live in the answer and not in the problem),
and that his alcoholism had blessed him by forcing him to get on his knees and come to know God in a way nothing else could have.
"for years i was sure that the worst thing that could happen to a nice guy like me would be that i would turn out to be an alcoholic. today i find its the best thing that has ever happened to me. this proves i don't know what's good for me. and if i don't know what's good for me, then i don't know what's good or bad for anyone. so i'm better off if i don't give advice, don't figure i know best, and just accept life on life's terms, as it is today - especially my own life, as it actually is."
in other words,
for years i was sure that the worst thing that could happen to ME,
emily ann peterson,
would be to have this-or-that not go the way i planned,
or that those-scary-painful-trails would crop up,
or that thus-n-such-thing-i-loved might someday change -
but today i find that all of those
perfectly orchestrated disasters
are the best things that have ever happened to me.
this proves i DON'T know whats best for me
and that there's someone else -
someone all-powerful and wonderful -
who DOES. :}
so i'm better off if i don't try to counsel God
or tell Him i know best,
and just accept my life and all its hand-tailored progression tools
on His terms -
my life, my own life, as it actually is.
my life - the beautiful disaster :)
the beautiful, wonderful, exciting, amazing, hilarious and perfectly orchestrated disaster!
...speaking of beautiful/amazing/orchestrated disasters - this clip gives me happy goosebumps every time i watch it!! :)
11 hours ago