Wednesday, July 16

buried past

Time is fading
And you are nearly my
buried past
‘Cause suddenly, the sun can see
My eyes once more
And all it took, was giving up
What I adored
Its true, It was you
I adored

Your heart is what I thought
I’d always know
I lay you down to sleep where
I can let you go
Your smile will stay a memory
To light my day
I’ll keep that close to my own heart
And find a way
Hope comes with the dawn
I give away

But time was never our companion
Even you had to abandon
The dreams I thought we’d shared
I thought we’d share...

The ghost of all I hoped to be
Sits by my side
Whispers thoughts of moving on
And finding life
The song will change from dark to day
And heal the soul
And what was left broken here
Will one day
I know that one day
Will be whole

this piece was a sad one - i first began writing it with my grandmother in mind. ...wondering how she was able to move on and keep going after my grandfather - her heart and her life - passed away. the song took a more personal turn when i met a wonderful girl who was my age and trying to recover from losing her fiance - her heart and her life - in a car accident.
the gospel changes everything about death - gives it meaning - and pain is still part of the reality. :} but it doesn't have to consume us.
...that's why i wrote this song.

Thursday, July 3

is this necessary?

after recently attending yet another concert, i can only wonder -

is it really necessary to replace every adjective in the human language with the f*bomb?

i mean, really.

this morning

this morning i thought i saw the sun rise in the west

my vision is blurred and i know i need my rest,

but i just want to stay here

and think a while...

cause every time you smile,

you make me weak -

you make me weak.

how can your broken love make me feel so whole

and leave me bleedin here inside, so still and cold?

well, i can't figure out if i should

run or stay...

cause i just can't take the way

you make me feel -

you make me feel.

and i know that you are far from me

and far from what i knew.

and i know that there was never much

that i could say or do,

and i know that there was never hope except

when i believed in me...and you...

this morning i thought i saw my future in your eyes...

but you just smiled...

...and walked away.

this song was my first attempt at composing -and, you know, it was a really cool experience! :) there's nothing like putting your thoughts and wonderings to music!

i don't remember all the details, but i do recall it involved being really sleep-deprived and trying to figure out the whole 'unrequited love' thing - how is it that we can care so much about someone who doesn't care for us back? what do you do when you want to keep caring but you know its really time to let it go? ...i suppose this is mostly a dilema for those of us who are blue at heart - according to Dr. Taylor Hartman - frusteratingly loyal to the death (even to those who often don't even notice or deserve it). ;)

this song was originally written before my mission without lyrics over the bridge, and remained unfinished until 4-5 months ago when Michelle convinced me to try. finishing this piece was the real begining of my song-writing fiesta, and it wouldnt have happened without her encouragement. :) i love this song - it is one of my favorites.

the sacrifice

before i can really begin to talk about my music, the beginnings must be shared!

this is the story of how it all began. ...twice.

if first began when i was in jr high, with a handsome young man (who was very much in love with my older sister, angie) - his name was jim. :) i knew i liked him for her when he taught me how to play my first basic chords!! (a G, C, and D if i remember correctly)
and i LOVED it! i immediately loved the guitar! :D i wanted to learn more, but shortly thereafter, jim was gone on a mission, so i never tried again.

*side note to this story - this fantastic guy is now my brother-in-law and we all couldn't be happier! :D *

the years went by, and i found myself college roommates with the most amazing bomb-shell-blonde-arizonian, Kim! i claimed her as my best friend and life was good. :)
she is a guitar-genius as well, so one night, i got up the courage and asked her if she'd teach me. she said she would love to - but first i would have to make the ultimate sacrifice.

i would have to cut my nails.

"vain" does not begin to describe how i felt about my unnaturally strong, healthy, beautiful, and long nails. i am a rare case in my family with such an endownment, so it was an evening i won't forget. after an hour or two of internal struggle, i finally got up the courage, chopped them down to the nubbins, and told kim i was committed! :D
she then proceeded to patiently teach me about chords, frets, finger-placement, and Last Kiss until my fingers were sore and i had to stick them in the freezer! :)

and it's been true guitar-love ever since! :D

Wednesday, July 2

my reason for this blog...

seja bem-vinda!

so, i have never been one to blog or even to follow them (with a few specific exceptions).
that said, i feel i need to explain what im doing here (other than taking up more technological space in the online universe). ;)

about 4-5 months ago, my roommate Michelle (my guitar goddess, muse, and inspiration!) got me writing guitar music again for the first time since my completely-unknown-one-hit-unfinished-wonder of a song that i wrote before my mission (aka: This Morning). since then, i have had a lot of fun putting together songs from other ideas i've either had in-que for a while or that have come up spontaneously. as a result, a good friend of mine later offered to let me record my music for free in his studio at the end of the summer!

however, all that still does NOT explain why im begining a blog.

that is actually something we can all thank my sister Angie for. :) being far away in CA, she has not yet heard any of my music nor does she ever get the chance to hear the stories behind them (some of which are pretty cool, if i do say so myself). she suggested i start a blog where i could archive and share all that info with the world (though, specifically, with her ;) lol).

i deliberated quite a while before i decided i would try it. even if im not a blogger, most awesome bands these days have their own site - i figure should have one too. ;)

...and thus the blog i never thought i would ever even think to create came to be. :)

enjoy my music, my inspiration, and me

- emi-jo