Tuesday, April 6

pet peeves

pet peeve
n. (Informal)
Something about which one frequently complains; a particular personal vexation.

we all have them.
we all hate them.
we all love to hate them.
and some of us have some really funny/true ones!

ex.
take my mild-mannered friend, Aaron, who secretly loathes...

...people who use the tall fountain to fill their waterbottle with people waiting behind them. (there IS a a midgit one a foot away that none of us tall people can use which you might make use of...!)

...especially when those people stop and drink from their waterbottle then proceed to top it off with people STILL waiting behind them!

...bikers who expect to be treated like pedestrians by cars and like vehicles by pedestrians.
(WHAT THE?! - ! i have the right of way!...move it, you peons!)

...people who take up a whole isle at the store with their huge cart and refuse to walk faster or let you by.
(hey, it's all good - i was actually hoping i'd get caught here in canned beans section long enough to read where they were all individually picked, cleaned, shelled, and processed!!...)

...and most hated of all: pointless busywork.



or the love of my life, kim! who moonlights as a hater of...

...cat hair.
(shudder - there's nothing else to say)

...people who allow cat hair in their homes.

...people who ENJOY cat hair in their homes.

...and most of all, men who call themseves "cat people."
(cat-ladies are acceptable because they've turned from society - but cat-men?! unmanly and unacceptable.)



even the lovely jerica has her own list of evils...

...people who, walking or driving, cut you off then proceed to SLOW DOWN!

...people who eat loud.
(i dont want to hear your food!)

...people who hover over samples at costco.
(you're not starving - you dont have to stand there waiting for it to cook!)

...people who diss on michael jackson or ANYTHING they don't really know anything about.

...lack of "fetiquette" (aka facebook etiquette).
(i do NOT need to hear your declarations of love and longing every day - i don't want to live your relationship with you!)

...especially newlyweds who take/post pics of their honeymoon suite or daily post for a week how much they hate sleeping alone when their spouse of out of town...
(REALLY?! really?!?! i DONT need to know!)

...people who walk around with leftover makeup on.
(folks - wash your face, PLEASE! is the economy that bad?!...)



my dear sweet matti can't handle...

...when people leave cupboards open.
(...seriously? just close it!)




my bro-in-law-brother jonathan writhes inside when...

...people look at his artwork which he spends hours, days, and YEARS perfecting and say "wow! you're so talented - i could never just DO that."
(i don't JUST DO IT - i dedicate my life to developing the skills! if you spent as much time as i did, you could too!)



as for myself, i want to die a little inside when...

...cars in different lanes all match pace so no one can pass them.
(there's a REASON we have the "fast" and "slow" lanes, guys)

...people don't use their blinkers.

...people complain about being bored or unpopular.
(you have the POWER to say 'i will GO OUT and DO something and i will have a GOOD TIME!' - i don't care how much homework you have, how awkward is it, or how much you wish life would just show up at your door to entertain you - living a fun full life is work!)

...people are constantly negative.
(so what do you like to do? nothing i do matters. where do you work? i hate my job, so it doesn't matter. whats your favorite color? colors are stupid. OK, we are done here!...)

...trying to use someone else's cel-phone
(trust me, it'll go WORLDS faster if i call/text them from MY phone - and i wont accidentally delete all your contacts in the process...)

well, there you go! some of the best things i've heard that
"grind your gears"
(as jerica's friend calls it)!
what are some of yours?

6 comments:

David Lake said...

I have a couple: When people try to do the Gollum voice (from Lord of the Rings), and when someone gets in the elevator with you and they are only going up or down 1 floor. 1 stinkin' floor! Just climb the stairs!

JAMIE said...

Emily,
Wow. Had no idea you had a blog! Stumbl;ed upon it while looking at pams. You are the best. I love your blog, love your petpeeves---Ditto to every one of them!

Going to be following your blog now

Tyler said...

I especially like the one about negativity. Having fun IS hard...but that's part of what makes it fun AND worth it!

Dave said...

I'd have to second the one about being bored. I hate having to enter word verifications (like the ones you have to enter to comment) especially when i can barely tell what the letters or numbers are. And being judged or defined by people who really don't know me but think they do.

Melinda DeBirk said...

Colors are stupid.

Jonathan Hoffman said...

Awwww! I'm a cat-man and proud of it! I don't think it diminishes my manliness in the least :) Of course, i don't own any cats - but I want to!