awkward city

dear mr-guy-friend-who-only-took-me-out-once-and-never-expressed-any-further-interest,

we are friends,
and i'd like to keep being friends,
so please take this with all the love
a friend can give:

please do NOT act all weird
when you overhear that i've been taken out by other men.

also,
please do NOT come around
and get all awkward
in an uncomfortable attempt to
"bring up" the girl i saw you with at the movies last weekend
so you can "nonchalantly" explain
how she was NOT, in fact, your date,
but a girl who was supposed to be with your brother.

seriously
i don't care and i'm not offended!

it's totally cool you're not interested,
so please just STAY uninterested and
stop giving me weird vibes that you
ARE actually interested
unless you plan
on DOING something about it
and asking me out again.

which, if you are,
do so, and do it soon
so we can please get past all this...
...whatever-this-is-ness.

cause really...
it's just
awkward.


lots of (plutonic or platonic) love,
-em