GRADUATION!

graduation is on the horizon and it has kind of forced me to reevaluate what it means to be me.

what it means to be happy!

i live a full and busy life as a student and it gives me a lot of satisfaction!

for as taxing as it has been to work to put myself through school, take full-time classes, have a calling, participate in my ward, spend time with my family and still have a social life (which i couldn’t live without!) – it has been a wonderful and exciting experience. i have truly loved it!

but arriving at graduation marks the end of the ‘student’ identity i’ve always lived by.

and no longer being a student kind of pulls the rug out from under how i’ve always kind of defined myself.

i mean, who am i if i’ve left that forgivable state of “growing up” and suddenly i’m supposed to BE “something”...or "someone"?

i’m not just someone’s daughter anymore, i’ve outgrown that as a defining title, and being a sister is part of me but doesn’t take into account other life experiences. i’m not someone’s wife yet, nor anyone’s mother. and what's more, i’m certainly not my job, because the closer i get to graduation, the more i see i would like to experience (and would be good at) A LOT of different kinds of work!

logically, work can't be the defining factor - no matter how many people think it is after you graduate.

because, if that were the case, who will i be when i want to try decorating cakes for a living? and then be an event coordinator? i am a rockin HR manager, but you know, i’m not sure if i’ll go back into it. what if i taught English to Portuguese speakers or vice-versa? did you know i’d love to write a book and teach workshops on marriage relationships and/or loving yourself?! would that make me an author or a counselor? and am i none of those things – a teacher, decorator, coordinator, counselor, author, artist, hr manager, etc – if i went into modeling?

...and when you come down to it – can ANY of those titles, even the non-work associated ones, really define you?

i mean, i AM someone’s daughter, sister, friend, etc, but do any ONE of those capture “ME”?

who, in one all-encompassing word, am i supposed to BE now?!

...so that’s what i’ve been thinking about.

and i've decided that it really isn’t about

BEING something at all.

because i do not BECOME my work.

and for that matter, i cannot simply BE someone, not even ME,

because i am always changing!!

then what is it about?

…i think it’s who we’re becoming.

Becoming TODAY – right NOW!

today, am i choosing to become a fuller, more open, loving me?
am i living today, whatever i do in it/wherever it is done,

like it matters and that it’s helping me reach my goals?

…goals....

maybe that’s the key!

if our goals of who we are striving to be revolve around a title

like “wife” or “CEO”,

then we may be unhappy or lost in the interim

when we AREN’T those things yet (or possibly, ever).

i think that’s why heavenly father gave us a glimpse of the plan –

so we’d have something greater,

something more all-encompassing

of ALL of our life experiences
to aim for!

I AM A GODDESS IN TRAINING!! :D

we are ALL gods and goddesses in training!!

when we understand that no matter where we go, what occupation we fill, who we are with, or when we pass those 'personal landmarks' we are still in the process of BECOMING a god or goddess, it puts it all a little more into perspective. :)

basically, when we live in such a way that we're

on the road to becoming that goal,

then it doesn't matter what given, outward, or extra-cirricular titles we try on.
because

"all these things shall give thee experience and shall be for thy good!" (D&C 122:7)

let's close with a quote that i absolutely love about not limiting yourself to a definition...

"That's one thing I've learned in all my years watching earth...is that people aren't what they may seem. There are shop boys, and there are boys who just happen to work in shops for the time being. And trust me Tristan, you're no shop boy.” - stardust

BOO-YA! :D

world, HERE I COME!