a very merry kitschmas to you!

it's DECEMBER!!

the month of

joy, cheer, snow
and

CHRISTMAS!! :D

and this year

i am DONE

with pretty, polite and quiet christmas-ness!!

this year,

i want to see awesomely themed

christmas sweaters!

i want to see elves,

red outfits with white fur trim,

striped decorations

sparkly garlands,

hot chocolate,

cheesy christmas music,

gingerbread houses,

bed-time stories

nativity scenes,
caroling

and home-made snowflakes!!

in short,

i want a gloriously kitschy christmas!! :D

and this is the point where

you're probably shaking your head and thinking,

"oh, poor misled emily -
you're forgetting the meaning of christmas!"

to which i emphatically say,

"actually, i'm not."

because an over-the-top christmas

means you can't forget christmas.

and last year,

i forgot.

don't get me wrong,

being together with my family,
opening presents

and eating a christmas dinner together
was wonderful -
completely wonderful!

but i spent the weeks preceding christmas
running around trying to find a job,
buying presents online,
completing my finals,
listening to my every-day music
and fulfilling my calling.

my birthday suddenly arrived and i was shocked!
then i blinked, and it was christmas eve -
and we were about to do our
shepherd's dinner/nativity story,
and i wasn't ready.

i had all my presents purchased and wrapped,
but emotionally, i wasn't ready for christmas.

i hadn't thought about the Savior,
the prophesies,
His life,
the plan,
service,
or my family
the entire month.

and after christmas was over,
i had wished i had actually CELEBRATED christmas.

so while i'm aware and reverence the fact
that christmas
is about Christ
and not Santa or his elves,
all of that ooey-gooey wonderfully
christmasy cheer and music
helps remind me
that a special day is coming
and that i need to be ready.

so, with Pres Uchtdorf's counsel still in mind*,
i plan to kitsch up my christmas this year! :)

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!


*https://lds.org/general-conference/2010/10/of-things-that-matter-most?lang=eng
read it, love it, live it. :)

with bated breath

first off, after some research,
i discovered that "bated"
really IS the correct spelling
over "baited"
because it comes from
"abated"
which means
to lessen or reduce or put an end to,
which is exactly what you are doing
when you hold/slow your breath
out of expectation, anxiety, or caution -
thus, you "bate" your breath. :)

THAT being said,
and with the state's worst blizzard in history looming over the horizon,
i just need to share how stressful
WAITING can be!

the anxiety caused by a lengthy heightened awareness of impending doom
is far more upsetting than just having to embrace the doom when it happens.

seriously -
i can handle hard things.

but i handle them much better when i don't have
free time before to contemplate how horrific or awesome
it may or may not actually be beforehand
because i have a FANTASTICALLY overactive imagination!

not to mention,
when you ARE waiting for certain, but not as yet, destruction,
time absolutely draaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaags ooooooooooooon!....

we were warned we might be sent home early
due to fatal snow fall
HOURS ago!
and while i'm not sad about the prospect
of NOT having to drive home in the snow,
the day has tripled in length
and there is still not a SINGLE snowflake in sight!
which means i am still at work
but emotionally checked out,
because i'm imagining how i will manage
to ration out my trident gum sticks
and create a heat-retentive shelter
using only the junk available
in my purse or backseat!

....

......

........


and still no snow.

man, impending doom was never so boring.

awkward city

dear mr-guy-friend-who-only-took-me-out-once-and-never-expressed-any-further-interest,

we are friends,
and i'd like to keep being friends,
so please take this with all the love
a friend can give:

please do NOT act all weird
when you overhear that i've been taken out by other men.

also,
please do NOT come around
and get all awkward
in an uncomfortable attempt to
"bring up" the girl i saw you with at the movies last weekend
so you can "nonchalantly" explain
how she was NOT, in fact, your date,
but a girl who was supposed to be with your brother.

seriously
i don't care and i'm not offended!

it's totally cool you're not interested,
so please just STAY uninterested and
stop giving me weird vibes that you
ARE actually interested
unless you plan
on DOING something about it
and asking me out again.

which, if you are,
do so, and do it soon
so we can please get past all this...
...whatever-this-is-ness.

cause really...
it's just
awkward.


lots of (plutonic or platonic) love,
-em

Boutique this Friday!

http://studiolushboutique.com/

It's gonna be cool and stuff from ArtisanMaskers will be featured there! :D

name that tune or die

it came to me in a dream.

ok, not really - i wasn't even asleep yet.

i had just closed my eyes
when suddenly
a sassy euro-techno beat popped into my head.

it was catchy!

it was awesome!!...

made me want to do a little dance!!

however, it was really distracting considering i was trying to relax and drift off into dreamland...

i enjoyed it for a while,
but i started to lose my patience.

"could we please turn on something a little less awesome?" i polietly asked.

my inner DJ wasn't taking requests, apparently.

fine.

so i continued to listen

...but it didn't make any sense.

i couldn't for the life of me figure out
1) WHY my brain was suddenly continuous-looping this particular song
or
2) WHERE on earth i had heard it before!

where have i heard this before?

"goooooooogle!...." something inside me whispered

"what? NO!"
i refused to doom myself to a 2 or 3 am bedtime
by getting up and googling it! absolutely not.

"besides" i thought "i can't google 'sassy euro music'! please! i would need SOMETHING else to go off of. but it doesn't matter, beause i'm going to sleep."

however, sleep was too busy rockin out to do its job.

"stop dancing!" i ordered

no such luck

"turn down the music!" i shouted

complete disregard for authority in this place!!

"you better quit bustin your moves, or i'm gonna come down there and!...no?!"

no response.

"...THAT'S IT! i swear, when i!..."

...but when i stormed down
i saw lasers.

huh?
lasers?

this music...with lasers?

...dancing with lasers?...

weird.

........wait....NO.......dancing....
dancing THROUGH lasers??....

i was so confused.

then i got it.

a heist movie.

security lasers!

so then i tried to think of every heist movie i've ever seen -
but nothing fit.

and my laser-evading hip-hoppin fiend had no help to offer.

"gah! i DON'T need to know this right now! i NEED to get to sleep!"

but he continued to dance.
and the music wouldn't stop
and i still couldn't sleep.

MERCY! i HAD to figure it out!

"you could google it!..." my masked theif of sleep suggested again as he spun on his head and popped back up into a crimp-toe.

"NO!" i firmly commanded while resisting the urge to start a pop-n-lock routine "we are NOT googling anything at this time of night - i would never get to sleep running on such a WILD GOOSE CHASE as a 'security laser dance' search would bring!!" NO WAY!"

"have it your way" he calmly replied - and turned up the music.

needless to say, we fought and danced about it for a rather large portion of the night.

...and after an exhausting night's "sleep"
i blearily woke up and googled my infamous security laser dance music.

and i found it.

CLICK!

that fast.

ON THE FIRST PAGE!

GAH!

...note to self: sometimes listening to your midnight music maurader might be a faster way to end rythmic conflict than sticking to your bedtime.

Ocean's Twelve - Laser Dance - Watch today’s top amazing videos here

...and in case you're wondering - it's from Ocean's Twelve -

a movie i only saw once and had never thought of since.

and the song is Thé à la Menthe (which means "Mint Tea" in French!) by La Caution

my brain is awesome. :)

everything i ever needed to know about life i learned while making masks...

my friends and i are long-time maskers, but i only recently began doing it as a full-blown hobby like they do. we sell our creations on Etsy and the hours i've spent in the last few weeks with a hot glue gun in hand, sparkles in my hair/eyes/nose and feathers stuck to my clothes have taught me alot. here just a few...

1) if at first you don't succeed, take it apart and start over
2) everything has the potential to be something beautiful
3) patience...lots of patience...
4) use your setbacks as chance to put a new spin on things, not a reason to give up
5) hot glue holds the universe together
6) timing is everything
7) inspiration comes when its supposed to, not when i want it to
8) you can never approach any one situation or person exactly like another
9) don't be afraid to go big and bold
10) a little glitter goes a long way...seriously!
11) you can't ignore the inside and simply decorate the outside - it will be pokey and uncomfortable
12) the first step to success is a strong base
13) embrace change
14) use it up, wear it out, make due and save any scraps for another day
15) pretty can't be good enough - durability (and wearability) are key
16) when you hit a block, take a break and go back to the basics
17) you can never have too much awesome
18) patience...again.
19) you have to work with what you've got - and you can STILL make it amazing!
20) if you've burned yourself 3 or more times, you're allowed to take a break
21) you can't please everyone
22) trust your instincts
23) you can't handle glitter without sharing the love with everything and everyone around you
24) there's no satifsaction like that of a job well done
25) be open to outside ideas/opinions - a fresh perspective is worth its weight in gold!

http://www.etsy.com/shop/artisanmaskers

Memoirs of a Career Fair Booth Babe

I would like to thank everyone who came to our booth today requesting information about the amazing company I have the joy to work for.

I would also like to send out a special thank the few of you - two in specific - who made my day at your campus particularly unforgettable.

and I do mean, unforgettable.

To My Fairy-Rock-Father:
You were an inspiration to me today, Fairy-Rock-Father. The way you wandered from booth to booth to talk to companies WHILE playing your guitar and tossing your long multi-colored bangs half-way off of your face was pure creative genius. I especially loved how, when you asked me if I wrote music (and I said yes), you proceeded to serenade me – rather loudly – in the middle of the career fair. Thank you for trying to seguway into a second song by telling me you’d forgotten my name – and how that reminded you of a song you wrote about forgetting a beautiful girl’s name and calling her Angel instead. Brilliant. But dear Fairy-Rock-Father, thank you most for using your rock-star powers to bless my life with unspeakable awesomeness. As we parted, I wished you good luck with your music (since you obviously weren’t really interested in the Graphic Design Position) and you wished me luck with mine. I wistfully said I wished that I had more time to really work on it!... – you hushed me loudly as I uttered this, leaned in uncomfortably close to my face, and whispered that the time was mine!…then ceremoniously THUMPED MY FOREHEAD with your finger! “your wish is granted,” you told me as you backed away with your arms stretched out to the heavens, “I’ve granted your wish!...”
‘Believing in your fairy-rock-father - isn’t it about…time?’

To The Royal Chef with B-O:
I’ve never had the imperial honor of being so completely insulted by someone who was either being so blatantly rude, inappropriate or socially awkward. You are too magnanimous! By way of apology, I’m sorry if I didn’t seem sufficiently awed or obsequious to have been graced by your noble presence when I learned you are a culinary arts major. I beg humble forgiveness. I also ask pardon that I was confused and a little speechless when you interrupted me (as I was telling you we’d love to speak to your programmer friend) in order to ask me in your drawl tone, “your job is to….attract people to the booth and, um...tell them things, isn’t it?” I was so struck by your stately grace that I could only stammer, “…well, yes, I get to tell people about our company…” before you butt back in to continue, “…and I don’t just mean physically, you know…” as you gave my outfit (I hope) a long significant look-over. Then you cut me off before I began my peasantry-babble again to announce, “you’re in…HR, aren’t you?” I could only nod, for I realized I was too unworthy to speak at that point. “I KNEW it,” you gloriously soliloquized, “you’re obviously not technical – so you couldn’t be a programmer. Therefore you had to be someone else from an office…like someone’s secretary (another significant look)…or HR.” I count myself grateful that you then turned and walked away at that point or else my undeserving hand surely would have found its way to your grand and grubby cheek with a loud, resounding CRACK! Thank you, your magestic highness, for culminating all of my professional achievements into being nothing more than a booth babe.
‘Cause you’re so hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh high above me, you’re so ugly!…’

Happy job hunting everyone!

Ps. a quick note on this University – their customer service to the companies attending was EXCELLENT! I was completely impressed with them – even if I was less-than-impressed with some of their student offerings…

Pps. stay tuned for tomorrow’s career fair memoirs from the next university I visit!